[MOUSE SQUEAKS]
[PENGUINS CHIRP]
[ALL CHEERING]
[SCREECHES]
♪ Adventure Time ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the dog
and Finn the human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
JAKE: [GROANING]
Blankie me. Blankie me, Finn.
I'll get your blanket, dude.
Where is it?
Right here.
Why don't you just get it yourself?
Because I'm sick!
Poor guy.
[GROANS]
Too hot!
Oh, man, Jake.
Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
Soup me, Finny.
Soup-flavored cure coming on through.
[SNIFFS]
[CREAKY]
[GULP!]
Do you feel better now?
Yes.
Bleagh!
Tell me a story.
- Once upon a time -- - No!
I already heard that story before!
But you've already heard all my stories before.
Make me a new one, Finn --
A new story.
Okay.
Got it!
Once upon a time --
- No!
What's the matter?
I don't want a made-up story.
I need a real story!
Hmm.
Now, you hang on, my friend.
I'll be right back.
Okay, world, give me a story for Jake!
[GASPS]
[LAUGHS]
[WHIMPERING]
FINN: Jake! Jake!
Check it out.
This true story is going to totally cure you.
Oh, my gosh.
What is it'?
First, the leaf fell off a tree.
Oh, but, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Spit it out!
The snail was on the leaf!
The end.
Oh, no.
Now I feel a thousand times worse.
Finn, a story's got to have excitement, romance,
suspens-s-s-e, and it has to have a happy ending.
[SNIFFLES]
But...I don't know how to make that stuff happen.
That's okay, buddy.
Just dig me a hole, then.
Actually, two holes -- one for my guts and one for my face,
'cause when I die,
my guts are gonna blow out of my face!
I am not gonna let that happen, dude!
Then go get me that story.
And make sure it has all the stuff on this list.
I'll be back as fast as I can!
I won't let your guts blow out of your face!
Hmm.
"Romance" -- that should be easy.
Hey, how about you two'?
Are y'all in love?
La ba gi na goo da di dah.
Uh...
[ANGRILY] La nah gee ga rah la na!
Um...
[SNORING]
Are y'all kissing in there?!
BOTH: Eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek!
[THUD!]
Hmm.
Maybe I should smo-o-o-ove out my approach a bit.
♪ Normal guy, forest guy ♪
♪ Just like normal forest guy ♪
Whoa!
Hey, so, uh...yeah.
So, yeah, can I, um...
Could I watch you guys kissing?
What?!
Ugh!
I just need to f-for my friend.
He's really sick, and unless I
tell him about watching you guys
kissing and may--
Uck! What a weirdo!
You are one sick man, mister!
Yeah.
What's this "friend's" name, huh?
Jake! His name's Jake!
Pff! Yeah, right!
Sounds pretty fake.
Come on, Boobafina.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah.
Wait! I'll do anything!
Would you eat dirt?
I would for Jake.
[MUNCH! MUNCH! GAG! MUNCH!]
[GULP!]
Okay, HOW you guys kiss!
Man, what a freak.
Let's go.
What?! No!
Jake needs this! Stop!
[HONKING, GROWLING, GRUNTING]
Just...come...on!
What?! No!
Gah! Wait!
[ALL GRUNTING]
[SMOOCH!]
Aaah!
[PANTING]
You see? No big deal!
Pyah! Poo! Poo!
[COUGHING]
[CRYING] I can't believe you made me do that!
I'm secretly in love with Mr. Goose!
And now he'll never love me because now I'm soiled!
[SOBBING]
Oh, no! Oh, no!
I really did want to kiss Boobafina.
I'm secretly in love with her.
Okay. Sweet.
No, no.
It had to happen naturally.
Now she'll never love me.
[SOBBING]
[SIGHS]
That's wasn't smoove.
But it's all worth it to save Jake -- whatever it takes!
Okay. A good fight.
[CAN CLACKS, SPRAYS]
Hey. You want to fight me?
Oh, heck, yeah!
I've been waiting for this my whole life!
Yes! Ha ha ha!
WOMAN: Oh, no, you don't!
[SMACK!]
You never let me do anything!
[GROWLS]
Ugh! Rawr!
Ufigh!
You killed him!
Mom, quit touching me.
You killed him, and now he's dead!
He's probably not dead!
I'm sorry, though, that you think he's dead!
Mm.
I don't want to hurt aminals,
but -- but Jake!
[SIGHS]
Okay. Okay, what's next?
[BIRDS PEEPING]
Oh!
[GASPS]
"Suspens-s-s-e"!
Hey.
Hey, you guys.
[EVILLY] You want to die?
ALL: Aaah!
[ALL GRUNT]
Boys! Boys?
Have you seen my boys?
[WHIMPERING]
No!
Aah! I can't do it!
I-I can't keep messing with folks.
Aaaaaaah! But Jake needs me!
But I-l can't keep messing with folks!
But Jake's really sick!
But I can't!
But -- but -- but -- but -- aah!
[SIGHS]
[THUNK!]
Ow! Hey!
Who threw -- aaaah!
Tie him up! That's him!
That's the one!
What's happening?!
Are you guys gonna eat me?
You'll see!
[WHIMPERS]
Hey, wait!
This is really suspenseful!
[WHACK!]
[GROANING]
What is this'?
This is the rite of forest justice.
ALL: Huzzah!
Finn the human boy, for your crimes against
the inhabitants of the forest,
you must enter the Earth and become one with the soil!
[MOANS]
Don't I get a trial or something?!
No! Lower the cage!
ALL: Huzzah!
I'm totes gonna die,
and now Jake won't get his story, and he'll die too because
I still don't have a happy ending!
Huh?
ALL: [CHANTING] Ooh iggy boo boo!
Ooh iggy boo boo!
Ooh iggy boo boo! - Wait a minute!
I may be busy dying, but you need to get busy living!
ALL: Huh?!
Y'all are living some unhappy lives.
You, Boobafina... You love Mr. Goose.
You just need to tell him.
What?
She loves you.
Y'all just need to hook it up.
I-I've been wanting to date you for years.
You really love me?
I do.
Oh!
ALL: Huzzah!
And you, Mr. Fox -- you need to face facts, man.
Boobafina is not interested.
It's time to move on.
It's true. It's for the best.
And, hey, jerky teenage bear.
What?
Your mom is right.
You shouldn't go around fighting strangers in the forest.
Yeah!
[SMACK!]
Mama bear, your son's not a baby anymore.
You should stop spanking him in the face.
He's right.
It's time to let you grow up.
Yeah, that's the stuff!
ALL: Huzzah!
And Mrs. Cow, take that bag off your udder.
You're beautiful, girl.
You live in the forest, so why don't you just let it hang out?
ALL: Huzzah!
Oh! Ugh! No!
Yo, put that bag back on!
ALL: Huzzah!
Silence!
Finn the human, for meddling in our lives
and disturbing the order of the forest...
We thank you.
What?!
[LAUGHING] Our lives have improved since you came here.
Does that mean you're gonna release me?
Your cage is made of sticks, brother.
Just kick it apart.
Cool!
Yah!
[GRUNTS]
I'm coming for you, Jake --
With a story!
And then what happened?
[COUGHS]
And then everyone in the forest was happy.
The end.
[GASPS]
What?! What's Wrong?!
That was...perfect!
I feel a million times better.
Really?
Yeah. Yeah!
The romance stopped my fever, the suspense cured my headache,
and everything else cured everything else!
I'm not sick! I'm not sick!
[CHUCKLES] Neat.
[COUGHS]
Mm.
Finn, come on!
Dance the health dance with me.
Nah, I'm good.
Ah-ah-ah. ..ah-choo!
You allergic to my health dance?
[GROANS]
No, I just feel...bad.
Oh, Finn, did you catch my sick?
Yeah. I think so.
Well, I know just how to make you feel better --
Blankie, rubby, and best of all,
a good story.
Once upon a time...
[SNORES]
The end.
[UP-TEMPO ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS]
JAKE: Beemo, turn the music down.
Beemo, turn it down! [VOLUME INCREASES]
[GROANS] Come on, beemo!
You're messing up my game! Hey, dude, can I borrow that
paper? FINN: Mm-hmm.
JAKE: [WHISTLES] Bad computer! No! No!
[MUSIC STOPS] Now go sit in the corner and
think about your life.
[CRASH!] BOTH: Snail attack!
Aaaaaah! Oof!
[CRYING] [BOTH COUGHING, GAGGING]
FINN: Oh, sick! JAKE: Ugh!
FINN: Dude, how do you fight a snail?!
JAKE: Hold on! I got this! [GRUNTS]
Don't make me use this, man! Salt?!
But I heard you guys were heroes.
FINN: We are heroes. We thought you were trying to
attack us. Why'd you break in here all mad,
squirting that juice all over us?
It's not mad juice. It's sad juice.
My name's snorlock, and I'm sa-a-a-a-d!
[SOBBING] FINN: Stop squirting slime!
Just tell us what's wrong! I need a girlfriend.
I have no one to love. FINN: Jake, hero huddle.
[SQUISH!] What do you think?
JAKE: I think our house is all jacked up.
FINN: Yeah, but he's just an innocent goober looking for
love. JAKE: Yeah.
Okay, let's help him. But he's got to lay off the
house. FINN: Right!
All right, man. We'll help you hook up as long
as you -- yay!
BOTH: Whoa! [SMASH!]
[CRE-E-E-E-AK!] Aaah!
JAKE: Lay off the house, man! [SADLY] You guys won't help
me? [WHIMPERS]
FINN: All right! All right! We'll help you, dude!
Just put our house back! Okay!
Right after I get a girlfriend. FINN: Aw!
All right, you big crazy. It's a deal.
[GIGGLES] FINN: Jake, what time is it?
JAKE: I don't know, but you're probably gonna say...
BOTH: Lady time! [WOLF WHISTLE]
F okay, snorlock, iyouf want a lady, you have to be
yourself. How do I be myself?
FINN: Uh, how does he be himself, Jake?
JAKE: Just do whatever you want, man, as long as it comes
from the inside. Like sad juice?
BOTH: No! JAKE: You keep that stuff
inside you, brother. You just got to talk to 'em.
Oh. I never done that. JAKE: Finn, you see any hot
mamas? FINN: Um...
Bam! JAKE: Go talk to her!
Go talk to her! [SIGHS]
Okay.
Oh! [INHALES] Hello.
Hi. Mm.
You seem like a reasonable male. We should go to a movie
sometime. JAKE: He's got this.
FINN: Yeah. Uh...
I like old movies. [CHUCKLES]
Uh, uh, uh... Um, are you okay?
[SCREAMING] Aaaaaaaaah!
Girlfriend! Girlfriend! BOTH: Aaah!
Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend!
FINN: Dude! Our house!
We got to do something! JAKE: Relax. I got it.
Snorlock! Hey, snorlock. You okay, buddy?
Went a little nuts there, guy. You got to get that under
control, 'cause you're scaring ladies and jacking up our house.
I'm sorry. Are you gonna leave me?
JAKE: Aw, who could leave you?
Come here, you big hot mess. FINN: Break it up, you two!
We have ladies to attend to! JAKE: Yeah, the ladies.
Talking to ladies is hard. JAKE: No, it's not.
Check it out, snorlock. Finn, you be the guy snail, and
I'll be...The chick snail. FINN: Ugh! Gross, Jake!
JAKE: Come on, man. We're just pretending.
Do it for love. [WHIMPERING]
FINN: Okay. I'll do it for this guy.
[GASPS] FINN: [CLEARS THROAT]
What's up, lady snail? JAKE: [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Well, I'm just sitting here thinking about mating with
snails. FINN: No!
I can't do this, man! I am out! I'll mate with you.
JAKE: [NORMAL VOICE] We're just role playing, buddy.
Aww. JAKE: Here, Finn.
This time you be the chick and I'll be the snail dude.
[SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!] Hey, baby. What's up?
FINN: Uh -- wha?! Mm-mmm!
[SNIFFS] Mm-mmm!
[DEEP VOICE] Girl, you smell good.
Did you take a bath in rainbows and cupcakes?
Say "yes"! [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Say
"yes"! [DEEP VOICE] Say "yes"!
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Say "yes"!
FINN: Okay! Yes! JAKE: [NORMAL VOICE] See,
snorlock? Talking to ladies is easy.
Just act like me.
Uh...Girl, you smell good. You can smell me?
May I smell you more? Uh, okay.
[SNIFFS] Cupcakes.
Uh, I have to go. Did you take a bath?
Don't ever talk to me again. Please don't go! Don't go!
Aww. JAKE: Aw, it's okay, buddy.
Come here and give us a hug. Man, I wish you guys were
ladies. FINN: Uh...
JAKE: Stay focused, snorlock. You have any cool talents that
ladies might like? No.
JAKE: Um... Hey, Finn, teach him how to use
swords. The princesses always love this
one. FINN: Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah!
Yaaaah! Hyah! JAKE: Do you think you can do
that, snorlock? I don't know.
JAKE: Hmm. Maybe you're musical.
Can you do this? [INHALES DEEPLY]
[BEATBOXING]
Try doing all that. Hmm.
[GRUNTS] [POP!]
[SHING!] [BEATBOXING]
BOTH: Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
My word, Eleanor! What is that alluring sound?
I have no idea. JAKE: Yeah, snorlock!
Show us that talent! FINN: Whoo-hoo!
Oh, my! What is that?
What is that wonderful sound? Do I see swords?
FINN: Jake, these chicks look pretty serious.
JAKE: Let's just let snorlock do his thing.
Go to it, buddy! [BEATBOXING CONTINUES]
Ohh! Ooh!
Ahh. JAKE: Look at him go!
Bringing in the ladies. FINN: Uh, he's bringing in a
lot of ladies. Mm!
[CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!]
Beep! [CRASH!]
[BOTH SCREAMING] FINN: Snorlock!
These ladies are ruining our tree house!
Stop!
[CONTINUES BEATBOXING] [SMOOCHING]
BOTH: Whoa! JAKE: Wedge, dude!
FINN: [GRUNTING] JAKE: [GRUNTING]
It's no use, man. It's stuck with snail slime.
FINN: Wha?! [GRUNTING]
JAKE: Finn! Aah! [BOTH GRUNT]
FINN: How are we gonna get our house back?
Salt?!
JAKE: Dude, I'm going in. FINN: Wha?! Jake! No!
You'll get slimed or grinded on! JAKE: [PANTING]
[GRUNTS]
Hmph!
FINN: [GASPS]
JAKE: Snorlock, I'm gonna give you till the count of
three, mister! One...
Two... Three!
[CONTINUES BEATBOXING] JAKE: Fine.
I didn't want to have to do this.
[INHALES DEEPLY] [BLOWS]
[BEATBOXING SLOWS]
[BEATBOXING STOPS] [SIZZLE!]
Aaaaaah! Ow! Ow!
Owwwwwww! Oh, my gosh. He's naked.
[LAUGHTER] What? I'm naked?
But I've never had a shell. JAKE: Snorlock, you never had
a shell? That means you're not naked.
You're a slug. Me, a slug?
FINN: Yeah, man. That's why you have trouble with
snail chicks. You need slug chicks.
I don't know any slug chicks. Actually, I-I'm not really a
snail. I'm a slug.
My shell's made of peppermint. [LAUGHS]
[SMOOCHING]
FINN: That's gross! JAKE: I don't know why they
have to make out so close to our house.
FINN: I don't know. Come on.
Let's finish rebuilding it. I got some ear plugs you can
borrow. [UP-TEMPO ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Where's that music coming from?
Go! Go! Go! Go! FINN: Beemo!
Get over here and help us rebuild the tree house.
JAKE: Yeah. You live here, too!
[VOLUME INCREASES] BOTH: Oh, beemo!
[SQUIRRRRRT!]